What does it mean when I'm getting 80's pop songs running through my head. I don't panic about anything anymore in meditation, because honestly it goes away, even distraction. You just naturally go deeper if you do it enough and keep trying. 

My 4th day of doing anapanasati, with recent upgrades. Like instead of steadying the mind in stage 11, I use the word Samadhi.

It's my grandmother's (Frances Elizabeth Goodson Parks) birthday today. She died almost 10 years ago of a urinary tract infection, which is preventable, but she wanted to die because Grandpa had dementia. Grandpa thought it was his mother when he was at the funeral. Ending can be kind of difficult, but my grandmother showed me so much love in my life, I'm grateful for her. Thinking about her today and in my meditation. Everything is impermanent, even my grief about the loss of my beloved grandmother.

Mahdi said I had a chance at enlightenment in the next 20 years. I thought that was pretty kind, and actually gave me hope and something to look forward to. It's the goal in a way, but you can't cling and desperately aim for it, or if you can aim for it, it's through a multitude of conditions, not just meditation, I think simplifying your life is more to the point, and having good friendships, and being ethical.