The culmination of Brahma Viharas, just sitting, anapanasati, 6 element is a devotional practice of Buddhanasati. I chant the shakyamuni mantra, and visualize the Buddha, try to feel his presence, permission, encouragement, feel his influence across time. The historical Buddha is just as mythological at this point, and we have the support of the Pali Canon. After meditation, I will read the words. 

I chant the mantra silently in my head, but today I did it aloud. Trying new things, apply mindfulness to how it worked out. I like it being private, and I like it being aloud, I'm going to try it more often, and try to discern when which is appropriate. In the winter, with the dry air, the throat stress might not be as appropriate. As much as my exhibitionist narcissism draws me to blog, I like private hidden secret practice. The vibrations in my chest certainly is something, not nothing.

Ajaan Jai Cundo would just say "Buddho" in his mind over and over, with the breath. The Shakyamuni mantra is longer, has a different feel. 

We don't know what the Buddha looked like, so I have a generic image of a human, based on rupas and pictures around me. It's more about the feeling and the vibrations of the mantra.

Been thinking about how when I was in the Chicago Field Museum and I saw some statues of the Buddha, that I felt like prostrating to them. I feel that at the Met museum in NYC too. 

Shams suggested I practice self compassion. The disharmony I feel with my ex, I brush it off, but it really affects me, pulls me down. I can't let it. Brushing it off, I underestimate it's impact, talking to a friend I realize I'm letting the negativity impact me, and I need to counter it more. I love and respect my ex, but I must not take her utterances and use them for negativity. That is my job.

I took Shams on a video walk to pick up Ruby. He talked with my friend Fareed, who speaks Afghanistan Farsi, but there were technical difficulties so Fareed couldn't hear him. It didn't switch over off my headphones, and was on 1% battery.