Even attention

Today I feel why an even attention, not pushing it, trying hard is necessary. I wake up and read, and then meditate, and I feel like there's a surge of energy in the morning, but I take a nap later, it's weird. I can take a short little nap at 10 or 11. I also can take naps around 3, there are lulls in energy. If I take a late nap, then I don't fall asleep early. If I don't take a nap I can go to bed as early as 6 PM and if I'm tired sleep till 4 AM, 10 hours sleep. Sometimes you catch up on sleep, you were more tired than you thought maybe. Eight hours a night is an average, and sometimes less, sometimes more. I suppose it's something to think about in your 5th decade, marshalling and regulating your energy flow to get through the day.

See my daughter every day but Saturday and sometimes I walk over and visit them. I was so neglected by a busy with the struggle mother, that I'm semi-neglectful, but I push against that urge, and regularly check in with her and make sure she's OK. I try to be warm and appreciative when she approaches me. And yet, somehow my conditioning as a child is to go about my business. Being present for my daughter is my mission, then the Buddhism projects. 

Have to stand up and cock my head to the right to see the 18% sliver moon over the top of the building across from my window. And then it rises some and I can see it sitting, I don't have to move to see it.

When I do metta, I do 3 stages now. One for myself. One for others. And one to radiate metta from my infinite mind to the infinite universe.