Quality of relationships

I was explaining how when I hear attachment in Dharma talk, I think of the positive sense of the word in modern psychology. Shams wondered if we needed more than the Dharma. I was putting forward the healthy attachment sense of modern psychology and how I want him to read Becoming Attached by Karen. To me this is a really interesting article, maybe one of the best out of all I read in graduate social work masters degree. How we relate to each other is the most important thing, maybe,

Turns out Shams doesn't like it when people just want to win an argument. I think of it more as sharing our minds. 

Reading 1984 in high school made me dislike authoritarianism. 

My grandparents wanted the other one to get their point and do things their way, there was a kind of struggle for dominance and control in conversations, and they would really but heads. I honestly don't watch this soccer podcast because these two podcasters clash like my grandparents, it's a struggle for dominance, and they both have good things to say, it's just a podcast for goodness sake. 

The quality of the relationship is almost as important as the content trying to come across in the relationship. I'm twice as old as him, and I've read too many books, and I'm so tempted to send him link after link of books to read to help understand what I'm saying. 

I read Melanie Klein's account of a child's psychoanalysis, and then I heard the interviewed the boy later as an adult. He said she had some strange ideas, but she was quite kind. I think having warmth towards someone is more important than the actual ideas. 

Shams was saying family doesn't have spiritual ideals. I just watched Little Women (2019) and that family had some spiritual ideals. What a great movie!

I was talking about my feeling in The 100, a TV show, that is really interesting to me. It's a great story. Earth had nuclear holocaust, and humans went into satellites. Hundreds of years later, they want to see if the earth is habitable. So they send down 100 imprisoned teenagers. The 100. 

One of the themes of the show is that leader hatch plans where everyone has to believe for the plan to work, but someone else subverts it with another plan where if everyone believed the plan it would work. So what you get is episodic and ununified visions leading herky jerky all over the place. Are they hawks or doves? Are they kind or cruel? Are they imperialistic or isolationist? These are the questions humanity is always asking and there's never one answer, it's the pragmatists who aren't ideological who end up being the consistent leaders. 

Today references:

Article: Becoming Attached

Movie: Little Women (2019)

TV Show: The 100

Novel: 1984 by George Orwell

Book: Learned Optimism by Seligman

Statue Union Turnpike: Gandhi