consciousness

Shams is so sweet, he let me ventilate about the election. He's a true kalyana mitra. 

He's obsessed with right view. I told him you don't have right view until you're enlightened, and I'm not enlightened, so I don't know right view exactly. He's curious about the difference between intention and motivation.

In my mind intention is something you're really trying to stick to the fixing point, something really important, and what bosses always try to co-opt. Motivation is why you do what, and that's always shifting. I lose energy and my motivation goes down, it's energy dependent I think. Intention isn't. I log into meditate with Shams every day at 6AM now. Used to be 7AM but time changed here, but not there, and he prefers to keep it the way it was. 

I realized I'm taking the superficial absorption as boring. Deep absorption isn't boring, it feels good. I've been struggling with superficial and restless meditations. I think I had what I've heard called beginners luck, but it's a year on and my mind/body have adjusted. Sometimes I get caught in negative trains of thought, and I caught this one yesterday, and noticing just stops it. 

"We'd like insight into dukkha without the dukkha." I'm listening to Joseph Goldstein. I usually like to read but Shams listens to talk and really likes him, so I'm connecting with him by listening to Goldstein. 

He has a fun story about trying to sleep in Central Park. He didn't last more than 30 minutes because every noise caused him anxiety and he couldn't fall asleep. Later after lots of practice, he fell asleep at a park in California by controlling his mind and relaxing. I think he was with people too. 

He talks about Dipa Ma. I read a book on her, she seemed cool.