I was talking to Shams this morning. We went 39 days meditating every morning (here in the USA for me, afternoon in Iran) and then we missed a day. I was talking about how meditating on Avalokita made me ashamed at how selfish I am. That's totally taking it the wrong way, you start with self compassion, but yesterday I had this weird undertow of negativity. He said compassion for yourself is to focus on your own wounds and hurt, and have sympathy for that. That somehow broke through something and he suggested Tara Brach. I've listened to her book Radical Acceptance falling asleep and really like her.
I was talking about an undertow, where a current pulls you out to sea and away from shore. Yesterday I had a really peculiar experience of negativity, it was really hard for me. I think I see the world more clearly after accepting some hard truths, but wow, it was a really painful day for me.
After he talked about the list of characteristics of the Dhyanas that is online. I just found Kamalashila's writing on it, which I have to reread.
He talks about Ram Dass, he's more syncretic than I am, willing to listen to non-Buddhists. I got into Joseph Goldstein because of him, and I'm reading his first book right now.
I've also been studying Iran.
Another link Shams sent me:
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