Sunday

Shams doesn't light incense or candles. I like incense and candles because it's like conditioning, when I smell incense, I sort of feel a little bit of the power of my meditations. I don't have a good sense of smell, and when I meditate a lot I smell better, I think meditation helps me to integrate my senses better. 

Sometimes I wake up and meditate with Shams. Sometimes I wake up much earlier and I get an hour sit in before I do an hour sit with him!

"In the Bhagavad-Gita the question is asked, "Of all the world's wonders, which is the most wonderful?" The answer, "That no man, though he sees others dying all around him, believes that he himself will die.""

From The Experience of Insight p. 128

I feel like I ward off anything that is Hinduism, like some sort of weird Christian sect, vigilant about belief, but I could loosen up a little bit and be open to more influences. 

You do have to watch out. I read this on r/Buddhism

"That is Adrian Cirlea, a controversial cult leader who pretends to be a Buddhist priest.

He enrolled to study Jodo Shinshu as a priest, but disagreed with Shin’s view that Amida Buddha embraces all. He thinks certain people, like people with disabilities, gay people, trans people, women, etc are inferior and cannot learn dharma correctly. So he left his studies, stole materials from his tutors, and fled to found his own cult away from Shin authority.

He has no qualifications to teach. And he’s very vocal on his radical adharmic takes, from saying LGBTQ people will be rejected from Amida’s Pure Land, to supporting Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and parroting antisemitic tropes about Jews controlling the world.

He wears robes in that picture. But he is not a reverend or a Buddhist priest. He should be avoided for his severe distortion of the Buddhist teachings and especially for using the Pure Land dharma to spread hate."

"To clarify also, when we say “broken off” from Jodo Shinshu, he stole materials from his tutors and fled to found his own cult away from Shin authority.

He has no qualifications to teach. And he’s very vocal on his radical adharmic takes, from saying LGBTQ people will be rejected from Amida’s Pure Land, to supporting Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and parroting antisemitic tropes about Jews controlling the world.

He wears robes in that picture. But he is not a reverend or a Buddhist priest. He should be avoided for his severe distortion of the Buddhist teachings and especially for using the Pure Land dharma to spread hate."

Shams has encouraged me, and I've read it in Goldstein, to take a vow not to move for an hour sit. I'm quite the wiggler and move, especially since I get panic attacks and hyperventilate when I feel claustrophobic when I don't move a little. I've taken to telling myself to relax, relax towards the end of a meditation. 

I have a fond memory of Bodhipaksha touching my shoulder and saying, "Don't Move!" He has a glorious website called Wildmind.

I had a sad day when we didn't meet for meditation. On my sad day of mysterious reasons, I played a bunch of a chess, and lost all the games. I think depression has a negative intellectual impact. I'm ashamed I let negative thoughts sneak in.